Interns

Interns

The show frequently hires interns, many of whom have been given nicknames by the show's personalities. Usually the nicknames are based on some sort of physical or personality trait or just recklessly given out as is the case with "Loose Wendy." The nicknames have become such an integral part of the intern dynamic, that they often "replace" intern's real names, oftentimes before they even make it on the air. Many of the more recent intern's real names are never revealed to listeners, or are only revealed accidentally by show members during a broadcast or on a show video.

Producer Joe

Andrew

  • "Andrew the Well Spoken Cuban"
  • "The Cuban"
  • Garbage Breath

Wendy

  • "Loose Wendy" (based on no real truth, but she is said to have loose morals)

Travis

Dan

  • Kurt Busch
  • "KB"
  • "IKB" (Intern Kurt Busch)
  • "Corky Busch" (so named after he tried to read "What Hot Wings Thinks" on October 11, 2007)

Alex

  • Klalex (combination of Klepto and Alex because he stole someone else's Red Bull his first day)
  • Bowl Cut Alex

Jenny

  • "Internet Porn Jenny" (because she likes to watch 2girls1cup)

Steve

  • "Lil Bitty" because he is short, comedically short like a munchkin
  • Various references to his awful haircut like "Haircuts by Auschwitz"
  • "Amber Alert Steve" because he frequently doesn't show up when he is scheduled

Andrew

  • Intern Dewey Cox
  • Teflon Cox

Ben

  • Benercrombie Zoolander - So named due to his apparent level of high maintenance and sense of style.

Monte

Eric

  • "Frank Smalltalk"
    • Likes potatoes.
    • Unsure of his favorite fabric.
    • Has never had a conversation about a treadmill.
    • Likes fabric softener.
    • Has, in fact, been to Denny's and eaten Pigs In a Blanket.
    • On May 1, 2008, while telling a story on-air, Frank Smalltalk said the word "shit" on air, twice, causing the show to dump consecutively.
    • On May 2, 2008, "Frank Smalltalk" was sent out to buy breakfast food for some studio guests. He returned with a bagel-type breakfast sandwich for Zane which was half-frozen and was covered in what appeared to be dirt. Zane proceeded to throw the sandwich at Frank, splattering it all over the room, and all over the clothes of the guests. Frank told the studio guests that he had gone "number one" on the sandwich and had given it to Zane. He was asked numerous times if he really had, and each time, Frank insisted that he had done what he said. During a break, off air, the hosts asked Frank if he really had gone to the bathroom on the sandwich. Again, he insisted that he had, and he was immediately dismissed from his internship. While being escorted from the building, Frank told Joe "I wish I really had gone to the bathroom on it now." Deciding that it was too late for him to say he hadn't done the deed, and the gag had gone too far, the show's decision to remove him from the show was upheld.

Jeff

  • Milton
  • Jeffcat Goldthwait
    • Graduated college with an accounting degree, but began his internship before pursuing graduate school.
  • Named for his "lispy-wispy" voice.

Alex

  • Alecksssss
  • So named for his over-annunciation of the S sound in any word.
  • Interviewed Will Ferrell as an "Internview" when the opportunity arose while Free Beer and Hot Wings were at Radio Camp in Denver.

Chris

  • Chris Lovett
    • So named for his hair, which reminded Free Beer of Lyle Lovett.
  • Pube-Face
    • So named for the soul patch he sports.

Butthead Lautner/BL

  • Real Name: Mark

Originally called "Chompers" because of his ridiculously large set of teeth, BL was quickly renamed when a listener pointed out that he could very well be the lovechild of Butthead from Beavis and Butthead, and Taylor Lautner. BL is known for quickly entering super-defensive mode when put on the spot and asked a simple question, and also his stupid goose laugh. Other memorable BL moments include his being hypnotized by guest Rich Guzzi. The incident spread over several breaks, during which BL made sexual advances toward Hot Wings, was convinced that he was hammered, and thought for several minutes that he was Eric Zane. The whole incident was recorded, and BL was later forced to watch the recording. This was also recorded. He also participated in a very uncomfortable Internview with Robert Kelly, co-hosted by Rapestache.

Rapestache Wethands

  • Real Name: Ryan

Rapestache Wethands, usually shortened to Rapestache, or just Stache, was given his name because of the combination of his rape-like mustache, and his gross, wet handshake. He shares his last name with his intern-brother, Candybeard Wethands. The pair are in fact not at related, they merely share a similar gross, wet handshake. Though he claims to be heterosexual and engaged to a woman, the hosts often throw him under the bus for his wispy gay voice. Besides said gay voice, Stache is also known for covering his bare torso with white and yellow paint and accompanying Joe on his Egg Street Team Challenge, his awkward Intern-view with Robert Kelly, co-hosted by BL, and – when appropriate – answering the phone with "Free Beer and Hot Wings Show, are you black?"

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